


Kiss Me

by randomascas



Category: Rise (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Bad Boy Simon, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, bad boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-07 12:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14670714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomascas/pseuds/randomascas
Summary: Simon Saunders was dangerous. Too bad Jeremy Travers has a thing for bad boys. (Bad Boy!Simon Good Kid!Jeremy fic that some of the folks on the discord asked for awhile back after we discussed a Grease AU...)





	1. In Which Simon Drinks a Slurpee

If you didn’t know Saunders’ Family’s story, then you didn’t really live in Stanton, Pennsylvania. It was the talk of the town since 2012, when Patricia Saunders was found dead in her kitchen. It was 7 AM on a Saturday.

By 7 AM Sunday, it became a homicide case, and by 7 AM Monday, some asshole was in custody for it. The court ruled that it was a robbery gone wrong, but it didn’t matter. It shattered Simon Saunders life into millions of pieces.

Sometimes, though, the past twists sadness into anger and life into hell. It breaks the strongest and heals the weakest. Simon Saunders used to be strong.

But now he sat on the curb outside of the Stanton 7 Eleven, staring at his hand as he slowly opened and closed it. His knuckles were bloody.

“Fuck this,” He said after a moment, to no one in particular. There was a bruise under his eye, and it was starting to hurt when he spoke.

The bell of the convenience store rang as his best friend, Lilette Suarez, emerged. In her hands, she held two blue and red slurpees. She hopped down next to him, careful to avoid spilling the sugary sludge.

“You doin’ alright?”

“Yeah…” He wasn’t, but he was used to it at this point.

“He beat the shit out of you.”

“Yeah…”

“Simon.” She didn’t have to say anything else, and they both knew it. She’d lectured him enough about fighting, especially with people like Robbie Thorne. That’s who he’d hit, today, and since Robbie was QB1, no matter what happened, Simon would get blamed. He’d run instead, and Lilette had stayed back to deal with his mess. That’s how fights usually went anymore.

“Lil, please don’t…”

“You’ll bruise, if you don’t put ice on that cheek,” She answered. “Here, let me just…”

Suddenly, she pressed one of the slurpees to his face. It felt freezing against his blemished skin. Simon jerked his head away.

“Shit!”

“Sorry.” She really wasn’t.

He shook his head, and reached for his drink. Just as Lilette had done, he pressed it against his cheek. It burned, but it felt better than it had before.

Lilette slurped her drink, and cars zoomed by on the freeway. Simon wished he was in one, wished he was escaping this town. Stanton would never be big enough for him.

“Jeremy’s working the cash register tonight,” Lilette informed him, before setting down her drink.

“And?”

“And you stare at him every day during fifth period?”

“Shut up.”

Lilette giggled. “You’d be cute, though!”

“Oh, yes, because my dad would love that.”

“Fuck him.”

Simon quietly took his slurpee from his cheek and took a sip. The red and blue flavoring masked the slight taste of blood that had been left in his mouth. His stomach felt so empty, all of the sudden.

“Do you want a hotdog?”

Lilette hesitated, before asking, “Do you?”

“Little bit, yeah.”

She shrugged. “If I get food poisoning, it’s on you, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You in?”

“Sure.”

Simon slowly got to his feet. They were alone in the parking lot, but he still wasn’t sure about leaving her out there. He didn’t trust people.

“Do you want to come with?”

“No thanks, Saunders.”

“You sure?”

“Simon.”

“Okay, I’m going.” And he was. He headed through the glass doors, and the bell rang over head. The bright, fluorescent lights were close to blinding, after the darkness of the parking lot, and easy listening music filled the air. Rows of organized shelves stretched in front of him. It made Simon uncomfortable. But what made him more uncomfortable was the blonde boy standing behind the counter on his phone.

Simon took a big sip of his slurpee, and headed for the grill in the corner. He couldn’t couldn’t deal with this, right then.

Under the yellow, hot lights, three underwhelming hot dogs spun. They didn’t look too good, but Simon felt like his stomach was caving in. He realized he’d only had a cup of black coffee and his current slurpee all day. They looked slightly dangerous, but so did Simon.

He didn’t get these too often, but he knew the basics of how they worked, and he managed to get them out without too much of an issue. The hard part still sat in front of him: talking to the cute cashier who he wasn’t supposed to be crushing on.

He could steal them, if he was being honest. He’d done it before for his little sister Emma, when she’d wanted Christmas gifts that his dad couldn’t afford. Still, he didn’t have the best track record for the last twenty-four hours, and he couldn’t go back to jail.

So he took a deep breath, and power-walked to the counter. He kept his head down, tried to shrink back. It almost worked too.

“Find everything?” Blonde cashier boy chirped. His name tag read “Jeremy”, and Simon already knew that it would. He didn’t voice his reply, but instead nodded slowly. Jeremy typed something into the computer in front of him. “Just the hotdogs and the slurpee then?”

“Huh?” Simon’s voice was hard and rough, like he had been crying. He hadn’t, and he didn’t like it.

“That’s all, right?”

“Just the dogs.”

“I’m sorry?”

Simon looked up suddenly. He instantly regretted it, because god, Jeremy was cute. “M-my friend already bought the slurpee.” He sounded a lot worse, but at least he didn’t sound like he’d just had a meltdown.

“Oh, wait, Lilette?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, cool.” Jeremy was acting like he didn’t know Simon, but everyone in Stanton did, so Simon knew it was fake. “Uh, 5 dollars, man.”

As he dropped the money on the counter, he suddenly became aware of how bad his knuckles looked. So did Jeremy.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

Jeremy knelt down behind the counter, and Simon couldn’t see him. Every part of his body told him to leave the money on the counter and get out of there, before the blonde boy could throw him more off of his game.  “We have band aids and antiseptic in the first aid kit… It’s down here somewhere…”

“I’m fine, Jeremy.” The last part slipped out. He didn’t mean to say it, to say Jeremy’s name. It implied knowing each other, and they didn’t. Not at all.

“Oh…” Simon could see the other boy register that he had used his first name. “Oh, wait, it’s Simon, right?”

When Jeremy said it, “Simon” became the best word in the world. It made Simon very uncomfortable. “Yeah.”

“We have fifth period English together, don’t we?” They both knew it from the moment Simon entered that building, but neither of them said it.

“Yeah.” Simon needed to get out of there, he knew it, but he didn’t want to leave.

“Mazzu’s quizzes on Grapes of Wrath are kicking my butt.”

Simon shrugged. He didn’t like Mazzu too much. He tended to preach about stupid things.

Simon wanted to say that, wanted to get out of there. But Jeremy nice, and he seemed to really care. Simon didn’t want to hurt him. “The art project after every chapter is what’s really killing my grade.”

“Really? Maybe we could help each other out then.”

Simon knew the answer had to be no. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Well, uh, enjoy your food,” Jeremy mumbled.

Simon nodded, and picked up his hot dogs. After a moment, he said, “See you tomorrow, Jeremy.”

“Yeah. See ya.”

Simon left the building with a jingle of the bell and a sick feeling in his stomach. He wasn’t supposed to like Jeremy. But, still, he really did.


	2. In Which Jeremy Eats Lunch

If you didn’t the Travers’ Family, then you probably weren’t alone. They were a perfectly normal, small family, living on a perfectly normal, small street.

There were five of them, in total: Grandma Travers, a flaming liberal baptist who could hear the contradiction in those two titles; Mr. and Mrs. Travers, two well to do medical malpractice lawyers that didn’t practice at the same law firm; Anna Travers, their youngest, and arguably most popular child; and Jeremy Travers, their straight A stereotype of a son.

They were your typical, suburban family. Well, other than the looming divorce and the constant screaming that came with it.

So Jeremy did his best to constantly stay out of the house. He worked two jobs. He studied at the library, or at his friend Michael’s house. He did whatever he could to stay away, without compromising his grades.

It was working so far. Except for English Class. Jeremy normally did well in there, but he honestly couldn’t stand a single member of the Joad family long enough to focus on the book. That, and the fact that he sat exactly one seat over from Simon Saunders.

Jeremy couldn’t focus on anything with him that close by. He could smell his cologne. He could watch his little habits. He could hear the faint music that constantly came from his earbuds.

Jeremy was falling, hard, for Simon. But Simon was dangerous. Simon wasn’t to be trusted. Simon, with his bloody knuckles and his bruises and his criminal record. Simon, with the way he mouthed the lyrics to strange rock ballads and wrote in bad french and had bright green annotations.

“So, anyway, Jamal is going on and on about how these scouts are coming, and I'm like, ‘do we even look like any of us care’?” Jolene was droning about an incident in her math class and she and Jeremy walked to lunch. Usually, they waited for her best friend, Gwen, to meet them, but she was busy helping her dad with something for the upcoming game. Jeremy had a sneaking suspicion that it had to do with Simon. So, it was just Jolene and Jeremy that headed to their usual hideout in the band room.

“That’s great…” Curiosity got the best of him. “Did Jamal mention anything about a fight yesterday?”

“Huh?”

“Well, you know, he’s best friends with Robbie. And Robbie had this huge skid mark thing on his arm today. I don’t know.” Jeremy didn’t care about Robbie Thorne. Rather, he wanted to know how Simon Saunders got the bloody knuckles that he saw last night at work.

“I mean, if you’re talking about how Simon Saunders and him got in some stupid brawl, then yeah, he did.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah. I guess Jamal said something about his sister, and Robbie got in between the two of them, so Simon tried to beat the shit out them. It was so stupid.”

So Simon had been the reason. “Tried?”

“Robbie and Jamal kind of tackled him, I guess. And Jamal punched him in the face pretty hard.”

“Shit.” They had reached the band room, and Jolene opened the door for him.

“No kidding.”Jeremy entered, and Jolene followed close behind. “I guess he wanted to, like, kill him.”

One of Jeremy’s only other friends, Michael, was waiting just inside for them. “Who wanted to kill who?”

“You missed a lot.” Jolene said.

“Jamal and Simon.” Jeremy answered.

Michael looked between the two of them for a short moment, before shrugging. “I was in a group project with Simon, and I honestly am not surprised.”

“Alright, remind me to never work with you on anything.” Jo winked. Then, she spread her arms wide, and hopped up on one of the many chair that was scattered throughout the room. Michael and Jeremy shared a look, since they knew she was going to make some lackluster announcement to the two of them about something neither of them cared about. “Now, I have an announcement.”

“Really,” Michael deadpanned. She flipped him off, before continuing.

“It has just been announced that auditions for Spring Awakening this year are, drum roll please…” She didn’t get one, but it didn’t seem to bother her all that much. “Tomorrow!”

Jeremy gave her a thumbs up. “Great, Jo. And we care because?”

“Because you -“ She pointed at Jeremy, and then Michael, “- are both going to audition with me.”

“No.” Jeremy and Michael spoke at the same time.

“Please? Like, Jere. You’d be a great Ernst. And Michael, you could totally pull of Hanschen.”

“I’m an alto, still, Jo,” Michael reminded her. “I can’t hit half of Hanschen’s notes.”

“And I’m not making out with Michael,” Jeremy cut in.

Jolene hopped off the chair, and slumped into. “Couldn’t you, though? For me. Just humor me and audition.”

“Jo, I have work and stuff. I don’t know.”

“You never go home anyway,” She pointed out. It didn’t feel good to hear someone say it aloud, and Jeremy wanted to change the subject.

“Fine. I’ll go out for Ernst, I guess.” They both looked to Michael, expectantly.

“Maybe, I don’t know, I’ll try out for Otto or something. Okay?”

Jolene grinned. “It’s absolutely perfect!” 

Their conversation was pretty much over. Michael went back to his homework, which he had been working on when they entered. Jeremy pulled out his phone out, and started to space out on tumblr. He was working on reblogging something when Jolene suddenly squealed loudly. It hadn’t even been five minutes since her last freak out, so Jeremy knew something was up.

“Guys, so, you know the fight?”

“We talked about it like ten minutes ago, so yes,” Jeremy sighed. “What’s up?”

“That was directed at Michael, thanks.”

Michael kept working on his homework, but he did mumble, “What fight?”

“Robbie and Jamal and Simon,” Jeremy answered.

Satisfied, Jo continued her story. “Well, Jamal got off on self defense somehow, but Mazzu decided that, since Simon and Robbie were fighting on school property, and like there’s so much butt hurt over that, I guess-”

“Get to the point.”

“-Both Robbie and Simon have to auditions for Spring Awakening.”

Michael looked up. ‘What?”

“Yeah.”

“Jo, I love you, but I can’t deal with a football player.”

“Robbie isn’t too bad.”

“The rest of them are.”

Jolene made a face. “Fine, whatever. At least Jeremy’s still in. Right, Jere?”

Simon Saunders. Simon Fucking Saunders. The boy with the bloody knuckles and the slurpee. The boy that Jeremy had been crushing on since forever. He could be Hanschen. But what if he wasn’t? What if Jeremy had to make out with Robbie, or Francis, or someone else?

“Maybe, Jo,” He answered finally. “I’ll see. I’m not exactly sure about it, if Michael isn’t. And, you know, Grandma Travers wants me to join her knitting circle.”

“Is that the thing where your grandmothers hang out and rant to each other?” Michael asked.

“Yeah. Grandma Travers wants me to translate angry hebrew.”

Jolene shook her head. “Who even are your grandparents.”

“Liberal baptists and cool jews?”

“Good point.” It must’ve taken her a bit to catch what Jeremy was trying to do, because she didn’t speak for a few moments. Then, she said, “Wait, you’re not getting out of this that easy!”

“Jo! Just let me wait and think about it, okay? I just really don’t want to deal with Simon right now.” Oh but god he did.

“Whatever, Fine.”

And the conversation was over, just like that. Jo pulled out her phone and started texting someone, probably Gwen. They didn’t talk after that, except for the few times that Michael asked about mitochondria (so Jolene could deadpan “mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell” as was their deal after Michael started taking biology) and Jeremy showed the small group some “tag yourself” memes.

It was practically silent until the bell rang, which gave Jeremy enough time to think about how he had English next, with Mr. Mazzu. With Simon. And they had agreed to help each other out.

He half didn’t want to go to class, half wanted to sprint there. He was going to see Simon Fucking Saunders and whether that was good or not, Jeremy really didn’t know. But he planned on finding out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m crying to Come From Away as I post this whoops. I hope you enjoy. Also, go check out my other stuff for no reason, it’s a bunch of poorly written one shots so.


	3. In Which Simon Can’t Concentrate

Simon tried to keep his eyes off of Jeremy during english but it really wasn’t working. The sun that streamed through the windows looked so good reflecting off of his hair. And every time Simon turned around to look at Lilette, to ask her about the book or to joke about how Ma Joad was the only useful person, he saw Jeremy. He looked like a goddamn angel.

“Hm, how’s your mysterious stranger?” Lilette leaned forward and whispered in Simon’s ear, suddenly. His eyes widened, and he spun around.

“What?”

“I can see you staring at him.”

“Shut up.”

“You should ask him out,” Lilette suggested, but Simon quickly shook his head.

“My dad would kill me, Lil.”

Lilette groaned. “Ugh, fuck your dad.”

“Please don’t.” Anyone else overhearing that would’ve probably viewed this as a joke, but Lilette knew that Simon really meant that she needed to shut up. He was all he had left, and even though he was an asshole, he just couldn’t ignore him.

She frowned, and then leaned back into desk. Only a few moments passed before Simon turned backwards, and tapped her shoulder. She looked up.

“What?”

“Are you going out for the musical?”

“I don’t know, maybe? Why?”

“Mazzu’s making me after yesterday.”

“That’s rough, Saunders.”

“It would be a lot better if my best friend would join too…”

“Oh, sure, we could audition as Melchi and Wendla, have stage sex. Sounds fun.”

Simon rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”

“Just saying, I don’t feel like making out with my best friend of eight years.”

“Hey, I’ve heard I’m a great kisser.”

“From Gwen?”

“Maybe…”

Lilette looked back down at her book. As an afterthought, she mumbled, “Props, Saunders. She never told me that when we were dating.”

Simon casually flipped her off. He was about to go back to his work, but then he caught sight of Jeremy, in his seat next to Lilette. Jeremy, who was usually buried himself in his work, with his blonde perfect hair falling in his face. Jeremy, who constantly drummed his fingers on his desk or swirled his stupid black pens around and around. Jeremy, who was currently looking right back at Simon.

Normally, Simon would look away, or throw on his best annoyed face. He’d be the angry, messed up black hole that he was.

But Jeremy was right there, and Simon knew he smelled like soap and books like he always did. Simon couldn’t look away.

He kept his eyes on Jeremy, and the boy broke out smiling. God, Simon wanted to see him smile like that everyday.

Simon wasn’t supposed to be gay, though. His dad would kill him. So, even though it hurt, he finally turned back in his seat and opened his copy of Gatsby back up.

He couldn’t focus on the words. He never could. The book just didn’t pull him in. It was overly descriptive, but not like Lord of the Rings. It pissed him off.

He’d barely even made it through a page before the bell rang, despite a sufficient amount of time passing. He started packing up all of his stuff, quickly, to get out of there, since he didn’t want to talk to anyone. Not Lilette, not Jeremy, not Mr. Mazzu. He just wanted out of there, so he could go to study hall. So he didn’t have to deal with emotions.

“Simon?”

Shit.

“Jeremy, hey,” Simon didn’t look up. Simon couldn’t look up. He couldn’t look at Jeremy. He was scared he would never look away.

“So, uh, I heard you’re going out for Spring Awakening?”

“Uh, Yeah. Yeah. You?” Please say no.

“I might, but, uh, that’s not why I’m asking…” Simon kept telling himself not to look. “Um, but, if you wanted, we could study for English after auditions?”

Simon nodded, and looked up. He regretted it. Jeremy’s eyes were on his and they looked so beautifully bright up close. “Y-Yeah. Sure. That sounds great.” He thought Jeremy would leave after that, so he picked up his books and started into the hallway.

“Do you know what you’re auditioning with?” Jeremy followed after him anyway.

“Huh?”

“Auditions. What song are you doing?”

Simon hadn’t really thought about it, but he immediately knew the answer anyway. “Gethsemane, from Jesus Christ Superstar.” Simon hesitated, before adding, “It… it was my mom’s favorite.”

“Oh. Well, I can see why. It’s a great song. And I’m sure you’ll kill it and-“

“Thanks, Travers,” Simon cut off the other boys rambling. He couldn’t care less.

Jeremy turned red. “Oh, of course. Uh, see you, then?”

Simon nodded his head once, like an asshole, and started away as fast as he could. He had to get to math, anyway.

As he walked, he thought about the show. Simon had a reputation and it wasn’t really a great one. He’d been suspended twice for fighting in the last year, and his grades were low Cs.

But, despite his cliche bad boy appearance, he loved theatre. He’d done crew a few times, but never acted, and he hadn't originally planned on it. Mr. Mazzu had given him no choice, though, since there weren’t enough boys signed up. So Simon had to figure out who he was going out for, because he couldn’t play Hanschen or Ernst. He just couldn’t. His dad would kill him.

Of course, he could play Melchi. He was a tenor, and he had a grasp on his songs. But, also, he was a bit too short for a male romantic lead. There was Moritz, though. He wouldn’t be so bad. And he knew Don’t Do Sadness note for note.

As for lesser roles, Otto was a viable option. Simon loved the actor that played his voice in the revival. It was one of many sexual awakenings for him, in all honesty. He was rather cute.

Simon didn’t feel like going to math, suddenly. In fact, he didn’t feel like school anymore. So, he step out of the center flow of the hallways, to the lockers, and pulled out his phone.

To: Lilette

Meet me at my car

Almost immediately, the typing bubble appeared. The hallway was emptying quickly, and soon Simon would be late. That is, unless she wanted to ditch.

From: Lilette

Audition work?

To: Lilette

Sure

From: Lilette

Music room in three. Mr. Levitsky will give us notes.

Simon grinned. Audition work. Maybe she could help him pick a character to put down on his audition form, so there was no way that his dad would say shit about all of it. He typed out one last message, and headed to meet her.

To: Lilette

Bring oreos, please and thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief thing: this is so OOC but since Simon’s past is different I’m writing his internalized homophobia as more of a Jason (Bare) thing because I feel like he’d be more in tune with it because he’s more rebellious and less loyal to his dad, and because it’s not breaking up his family, but he’d still be afraid to tell anyone. So, yeah. Also shout out to Sage for making me watch that and thus ruining my life. Thanks.


	4. In Which Auditions Take Place

Jeremy settled next to Maashous in the auditorium seats, behind everyone else. Both watched in absolute horror as Jolene finished her performance of the whitest version of “America” in history. They’d been preparing themselves for it since she announced yesterday after school that she’d be auditioning with that, but it was much worse than anyone could’ve guessed.

As she left the stage, a new person took center. It took Jeremy a moment to grasp who it was, and when he did, he sucked in a breath. Simon.

“Hi, uh, I will be performing Gethsemane in the role of Jesus Christ.”

He awkwardly knelt on the stage, and folded his hand, before plunging into the first few notes. Jeremy’s heart hit his stomach the second he heard his voice.

“But, if I die…” He belted. His voice was perfect. He was perfect. “See the saga through-“

“You still debating whether to audition or not?” Maashous whispered.

Jeremy kept his eyes on the boy on stage. “Huh?”

“He’s a perfect Hanschen, you know.”

“And?”

“And you haven’t stopped staring at him since we got here.”

“Shut up.” But he was right. Jeremy already had the form filled out, with Ernst in big letters as a preferred role. But he still didn’t know how he felt about singing in front of people. Sure, Jeremy was an extrovert, but it was one thing to be social; it was another to pour your heart out for an audience.

Simon seemed to have the opposite problem, though. The boy rarely spoke to people he didn’t know, but right then, when he was on stage, he seemed so alive, so open.

“I’d have to know, I’d have to know my lord!” He practically yelled. Jeremy could feel the emotion in his bones. And that’s when he decided that he would definitely be auditioning.

“I’m gonna do it,” Jeremy mumbled.

Maashous raised his eyebrows, but stayed quiet.

“I’m gonna do it,” Jeremy repeated, as he got to his feet. Simon was the last one, which meant Jeremy had to step in as soon as he was over and put his name on the list.

His legs were shaking as he walked up the sound table. “Mr. Mazzu?”

“Yes?” The older man was pouring over a notebook, scribbling notes.

“Jeremy, let me guess,” Ms. Wolfe steps in, “late sign up again?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Well, at least this time it’s the day of auditions. Get up there.”

Jeremy dropped his audition form on the table, and then headed up the stairs in front of the stage. He handed the sheet music to the piano player, and took center.

“Um, I’ll be singing ‘Role of a Lifetime’, from Bare,” Jeremy said slowly. “About half of it, at least.” He inhaled. Everyone was watching him, Simon included, and it felt so personal. “You learn to play the straight man…” He started, trying to think of literally anything else: how he was better suited Jason, not Peter; how Simon’s makeup was coming off, revealing the bruising underneath. How he’d been keeping eye contact the entire song. Jeremy started to melt into the song, and he hit the most emotional section with confidence.  “But Jason, what role do I play?” He wasn’t pushing the words out anymore, they were just flowing out of him. “We dance around and play pretend, and once again reprise our roles,” Jeremy finished, his eyes still on Simon’s. And then Simon looked away, and, for a moment, his smile slipped from his face.

Jeremy stood there in silence, for a few moments. And then Jolene started cheering, as loud as she could. Maashous and Gwen (with some goading from Jo) joined in.

Lilette started clapping too, since she was used to being nice to make up for the people in her life. Soon, almost everyone was cheering.

Everyone except for Simon, who just kind of studied him. Jeremy was both flattered and concerned.

“Thank you, Mr. Travers,” Ms. Wolfe called. “Now, stared at Jeremy, a strange look on his face.

“Alright, everyone!” Ms. Wolfe called suddenly. The applause died. “If that’s all, then, we’ll end this and Mr. Mazzu and I will start on casting. Sound good? Great.”

Jeremy stood awkwardly on the stage for a few seconds longer, unsure of what to do, before he quickly hopped down the front stairs, and headed through the aisle to his seat. Jolene had taken his old place next to Maashous.

“How the hell have you never auditioned before?” She asked, when he got up to them

“Huh?”

“You were fucking phenomenal.”

Jeremy bit his lip, a bit embarrassed. “Oh, thanks.”

She smirked, and got to her feet. “If you didn’t get Ernst, then I’m quitting.”

“Well, fingers crossed.” He shrugged, as he moved out of the way so that he could take his seat. “Just don’t accept your role right away, I guess.”

Jolene punched his arm, and then leaned in to whisper in his ear, “I saw Mazzu write Simon’s name next to Hanschen.”

“Wait, how?”

“I may have been motivated to come up here by more than just Maash’s companionship.”

“Jo!”

“Oh, calm your tits. I just wanted to see who they cast me as.”

Maashous chimed in, “Jeremy, your study date’s on his way up”

“You have a study date?”

“Not a date.” Jeremy shot a glare at Maashous. “Simon and I are working on English together.”

“Ooh, I didn’t know you had a thing for bad boys.”

“Go away.”

“Jeremy?” They all jumped as Simon spoke from behind Jeremy. The blonde boy spun around haphazardly, and slammed straight into the brunette. “Shit, Travers!”

Jeremy stumbled back, turning red. “Sorry!”

Simon sighed, his cheeks tinged a bit pink as well. “It’s fine. Just, let’s grab our stuff and get out of here, alright?”

“Out of here?”

“You weren’t planning staying at the school, were you?”

“I thought you’d rather that.”

Simon shook his head. “No. Just… meet me at my car in about ten minutes, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“See you in a few then, Travers.”

It wasn’t until he was long gone, and Jeremy had grabbed all of his stuff from the lighting box with Maashous and Jolene and started heading out, that Jeremy suddenly realized he had no idea what Simon’s car looked like.

“Hey, do you know what Simon drives?” He asked Jo, as they walked down the hall. It was basically empty.

“Nope, probably like some black muscle car or something.”

“What?”

“He’s like a stereotypical bad boy on crack, Jere. What else would you expect?”

“A regular shit car like the rest of us?”

“That’s not how these things work,” She informed him as she shoved open the doors to the student parking lot. “He’s the dark and handsome bad boy, you’re the shy nerd-“

“I asked him to study tonight.”

“-and you’re going to fall in love and ride off on his motorcycle.”

Jeremy wasn’t going to lie: falling in love with Simon Saunders didn’t sound too bad. Riding away on the back of a motorcycle, however, did.

The crisis was averted, however, when Simon Saunders pulled up to the steps in a beat up red Mazda. The window rolled down.

“Is this your car?” Jeremy asked sarcastically. “Or did you steal it?”

“What, not what you expected?”

Jeremy trooped down the stairs, and pulled the door open. “I honestly thought you’d pull up on some overdone motorcycle,” He informed him as he climbed in.

“Well, I don’t have that kind of money or that kind of death wish.”

Jeremy laughed, quietly, and then they settled into an uncomfortable silence. Jeremy didn’t know what to say, until he finally piped up, “Where are we going?”

“This diner.”

“Sparky’s?”

“No. It’s not in town.”

“We, you know, could go just to Sparky’s.”

“Because Lilette will give me shit if I visit her at work right after practice, okay?”

“Okay…” Both of them knew that was partially a lie, but Jeremy didn’t push it. He just sunk back in his seat and watched the boy next to him, trying to read his mind.

But Simon Saunders, sadly, was a closed book. And Jeremy’s lack of psychic powers wasn’t helping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out my boy Sage for forcing me to watch Bare with some of the folks from dcsa (discount Spring Awakening) because it's made me an emotional mess and now I'm working on two multichapter fics (Jeremy is Peter in it, and I just think Role of a Lifetime is awesome, so why not). Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this poorly written experience.


	5. In which Simon Goes to A Diner with Jeremy

Simon didn’t want to admit why they were driving out to Greta’s. But it was because this was too much like a date, and Simon did not need his dad on his ass.

So he dragged Jeremy with him to some dumpy diner outside of town. It wasn’t the first time Simon had been there, but it was the first time he’d brought someone with him. But, when they walked in, no one really noticed. A few of the girls nodded in Simon’s direction, as the two of them headed for a booth in the back. They probably didn’t remember him, just vaguely recognized his face from somewhere.

“Here good?” Simon asked, waving to the dark, hidden booth. The seats were made of cracked leather that had surely seen better days.

“Yeah, uh, I guess.”

“Would you rather-“

“No, here’s fine.” Jeremy hesitated a moment, before sliding into the booth.

Simon clambered in across from him. He laid his worn copy of Grapes of Wrath out in between the two of them. “So, tell me how this works.”

“Have you never studied with someone before?”

“Not like this, no. Lilette and I usually hang out at her place and work.”

Jeremy smirked. “Well, Mr. Saunders, let me show you how it’s done.”

“Mr. Saunders?”

“Just go with it.” Simon rolled his eyes, so Jeremy started talking again. “Basically, we just start talking about the book. About stuff we don’t understand, or don’t like.”

“So we have to talk about the whole book, then?”

“You really hate it that much?”

Simon shook his head. “Don’t get it. At all.”

Jeremy’s face twisted in confusion. “But you said you did okay on the tests.”

“Huh?”

“At 7/11, the other night.”

Simon blushed, slightly. He didn’t know anyone else who would’ve held onto something like that, and flustered him. A lot. “O-oh, uh, yeah. That wasn’t... true, exactly.”

“Why’d ya say it then?”

Simon shrugged. “Maybe I was trying to impress you.”

Jeremy laughed. “All you have to do to impress me is sing.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Before Jeremy could answer, a waitress stroad up to the table, two menus in hand. “You guys know what you want or do you need these?” She looked straight at Jeremy the whole time, and her eyes seemed to be stripping him down. Simon was not enjoying it.

“You good with a burger and fries, Jere?”

“Y-yeah,” Jeremy stuttered. Simon really hoped this girl wasn’t making him like that.

“Alright, two Greta’s and two chocolate milkshakes.”

“Actually, one vanilla milkshake, one chocolate.”

“Alrighty, sugar.” She smirked at him, and headed back towards the kitchen.

Jeremy frowned at him. “She was…”

“Awful?”

“Very direct.”

Simon nodded. “No kidding.” He exhaled, loudly. He didn’t like her. Not one bit. The worst part, too, was that he felt stupid for being mad at her. Jeremy wasn’t even his boyfriend. And being territorial was not healthy in any relationship.

“Anyway, uh, so. John Steinbeck.”

“He’s a Bad JRR Tolkien.”

Jeremy raised his eyebrows. “Did Simon Saunders just reference Lord of the Rings?”

“Yeah?”

A perfect, puppy-like grin covered Jeremy’s features. Simon‘s heart did a flip flop. ,“But it’s my job to be the nerd here.”

Simon laughed, quietly. “You’ve been replaced.”

“Me? Replaced? I’m offended.”

Simon was about to reply with another snappy comment when it dawned on him how much this was like flirting. And Simon Saunders was not supposed to be flirting with a boy.

“Whatever, you can take your spot as resident nerd.” His voice was devoid of the teasing tone that he’d had only moments before, because he was a good actor. He could fake his emotions as long as necessary.

It definitely threw Jeremy off, because his earlier smile wavered. Simon felt the urge to apologize bubbling up in his throat, but her gulped it down. He couldn’t dig himself out of this.

“Y-yeah. Okay.” Jeremy fidgeted with the bracelets on his wrist, and Simon really noticed them for the first time. There were three of them, in total, but they offered quite a bit of insight to the wearer, so Simon took some extra interest in them.

Two of them were homemade pride flag bracelets that looked like friendship bracelets made at summer camp. There was the obvious one, a rainbow flag, and a bi pride one, which Simon recognized because of Lilette.

The last one, however, was different. It was leather, and it looked a lot more expensive. From it dangled a silver Star of David. Simon internally smiled. At least his dad could rest easy, knowing the boy his gay son liked was not an atheist.

“Simon?” Jeremy asked, after a moment. Apparently staring at someone’s wrist for a relatively long time wasn’t something that went unnoticed.

“Your bracelets,” Simon explained roughly.

“What about them?” Jeremy quickly closed himself off.

“I was just looking at them.”

“And what do you think?”

“I think they’re cool.”

Jeremy’s smile returned, sheepishly this time. “They were gifts,” he admitted, unnecessarily.

“From who?”

“Uh, these-“ He pulled the pride bracelets forward, off of his wrists, “-were from Jolene and Sasha. And the other’s from my grandma.”

“Travers?”

“No, Firth. Travers is a Baptists.”

“And What are their thoughts on?”

“On what?”

Simon shook his head. He didn’t want to assume anything. “Never mind.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “You mean the bisexuality, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“They’re both liberal as can be. Grandma Travers was a divorcée with two kids and so she had to work her ass off for a job. Made her hate anyone who ever got in anyone’s way. Grandma Firth was a Jew in World War Two. You can guess how she feels about diversity.”

Simon laughed, lightly. “You’re pretty lucky, huh?”

“Alright,” The waitress from earlier was back. “I got two milkshakes,” She set the vanilla down in front of Jeremy, and the chocolate in front of Simon, “and two burgers.”

“Thanks,” Jeremy grinned at her.

Simon stayed silent, and Jeremy shot him a look.

“You’re very welcome, cutie.”

Simon reached forward suddenly, and grabbed Jeremy’s hand. “You want anything else, Jere?” He didn’t know why he did it, but he just couldn’t deal with her any more.

“What?” Jeremy almost pulled his hand back. Almost. But he didn’t.

“Do you want anything else?” The waitress repeated, her flirtatious tone gone. Simon was really hoping she got the message.

“Oh, uh, no. We’re good.”

“Let me know if you change your mind, then.” She was gone in a moment, leaving an air of awkwardness behind her.

Jeremy pulled his hand back, and Simon instantly missed the feeling of it.

“What the hell, Saunders?”

“I didn’t like how she was looking at you.”

“Yeah, well, nor did I, but I didn’t need your help, okay?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Simon was not, and the sarcasm in his voice betrayed that.

“Whatever… Just open up your fucking book.”

A wave of anger filled Simon. “Oh, look, he swears, too. So badass.”

Jeremy gulped, and looked down. “You don’t have to be an ass, you know?” He snapped. The anger vanished, and guilt replaced it.

“Travers.”

“Just open the book.” He sounded so hurt. “We have to study.”

“Jeremy.”

“Can you just shut up and open the book?”

Simon pulled his milkshake towards him, and lightly sipped it. “I’m sorry.”

“Honestly, Simon, I don’t think you even care.”

Simon shook his head. “Listen, Jere, I…” He took a deep breath, preparing himself. “I’ve got a shit ton of problems. PTSD and that shit.” He didn’t know why he was saying this, since he couldn’t even discuss with his own father, but he couldn’t stop it from coming out. “And I’ve got aggression issues due to genetics, and other crap, and sometimes, sometimes I just… explode.” Silence.

And then, “Hell, Saunders.”

“Yeah.”

Jeremy took a bite of his burger, and Simon had another sip of his milkshake.

“Thanks for telling me.”

“Thanks for not being a jackass about it.”

“Anytime.” He took another bite, and Simon watched as he swallowed and his adam’s apple bobbed. “Now, are you okay with doing homework?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s a pretty good idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guess who wanted to make fun of the common portrayal of bad boys? The answer is me, thanks. I'm trying to make sure Simon stays as a bad boy and doesn't cross into abusive asshole territory. aAlright, that is all. Thanks for reading.


	6. In Which Jeremy Discusses Stuff with Simon

_ Simon Saunders…   Hanschen Rilow _

Jeremy couldn’t stop replaying that moment. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, remember his eyes darting feverishly further down the list. And there is was.

_ Jeremy Travers…   Ernst Robel _

They were love interests. Fucking love interests. Jeremy got to kiss his crush and no one would care. Not even Simon. Because it would be acting. On a stage. It wouldn’t be real to anyone else but Jeremy.

And, maybe, just maybe, Simon

“You want to go get dinner tonight?” Simon asked, out of the blue. They had just finished their first rehearsal of the show, and it had been a bit awkward. Simon seemed out of it for the entire rehearsal, which was understandable, but still uncomfortable. So the fact that he still wanted to hang out with Jeremy came as a bit of a shock.

“To study again?”

“Yeah.”

“I would love to. Got to get those grades up, you know?” Jeremy joked.

Simon raised his eyebrows. “Don’t you have like a 4.0?”

“3.97.”

“Fuck off.” He pouted, slightly, his face contorting into something childish. Jeremy’s heart pounded.

He laughed the kind of laugh that requires you to throw back your head a bit and fall into it. “Okay, will do, Saunders. Meet me outside?”

“Yep.”

Simon smirked, and headed down the aisle, and out the back of the theatre. Jeremy watched him go.

“Does someone have a date Simon Saunders?” Michael’s voice was easily distinguishable to Jeremy after their years of friendship. He was used to it, really, to the point that he didn’t have to turn around. Which was good, because his words made the blonde blush.

“Shut up,” He mumbled.

“You aren’t denying it.”

Jeremy crossed his arms and turned to face Michael. “Simon isn’t gay.”

“Nor are you.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Do I?”

“We aren’t dating.” It slightly hurt to say that, to remind himself of that, and Michael realized.

“Oh, God, Jeremy, I’m so sorry I didn’t...”

“It’s just a stupid crush, Mike. Don’t worry about it.”

“Hey, everyone roots for the friends to lovers arc, right?”

Jeremy smirked. “You mean like you and Sasha?”

It was Michael’s turn to blush. “I don’t… We aren’t…”

Jeremy rolled his eyes, and started walking towards the lighting box. “See you around!”

When he grabbed it from the booth, his backpack was heavy with binders and textbooks. But he could practically feel the weight of his Grapes of Wrath copy. They only had about ten chapters left, and then it would be done. They would be done.

Jeremy didn’t want to think about it, so he shouldered his backpack and left the building through the side door that led to the parking lot. It was easier, outside, in the fresh air. Jeremy could think.

But then he saw Simon, sitting on the hood of the red Mazda, and suddenly, Jeremy didn’t feel so clear headed. Simon flooded his thoughts, his sensibilities. It made him crazy.

“Took you long enough, Travers.”

“But I am here, aren’t I?”

“That is true.” He shoved off the car. “Now, let’s head out.”

When they were both in the car, Simon handed Jeremy a CD Album.

“Pick something.”

“Oh, okay…” Simon’s music taste surprised Jeremy. It was mostly musicals, with a few burned CDs labeled with things like “to better your music taste”. He vaguely recognized Lilette’s handwriting.

After a few moments, he put in the Spring Awakening CD.

“Can we not?” Simon asked, as Mama Who Bore Me started over the speakers. “I don’t want to listen to it too much before we get to know the music better.”

Jeremy nodded, and quickly ejected the disk. He went back to the deck. “How about Chorus Line, then?”

Simon nodded.

“Or we could relive the great days of Guys and Dolls?”

“Put Chorus Line in,” Simon said quickly. Jeremy laughed.

He slipped the disk through the slot, and music flooded the car. Jeremy mouthed the lyrics as they came through the speakers. He knew them all by heart.

“This was my Grandma Firth’s favorite musical when I was growing up,” Jeremy explained. “Her mother was a ballerina, and she did chorus work for a while.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I think it’s kind of funny, really. She loved At the Ballet. And now her grandson’s going through it.”

Simon shot him a glance that lasted for only a moment, before his eyes were back on the road. “What do you mean?”

“Well, Sheila sings about how her mom married too young and regretted it, and Maggie sings about her parents divorce, and, well, my parents are getting divorced because my mom married too young and regretted it, so.”

Simon raised his eyebrows in shock. “Your parents are getting divorced?”

“Yeah.” Jeremy shrugged. “They got married right after college and it was a huge mistake.”

Simon gulped, eyes fixed on the world. “Is it hard? Like, watching your family, you know…”

“Fall apart?” Jeremy finished.

“I mean, I just…”

“Si, don’t worry about it. I don’t mind. It’s something I have to deal with, sure, but it’ll be okay.” He wasn’t being completely honest. It wasn’t okay, not really. But he’d get through it, maybe.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

With hesitation, Jeremy admitted, “Try not yelling around me, if you can. It’s… kind of a regular occurrence at home. I can’t really take it anymore.”

“Oh, yeah, okay.”

“I know with, you know, it might be hard, but-“

“It’s not an excuse, okay?”

They passed the sign that told them they were leaving Stanton. Jeremy read it aloud, trying to change the subject.

“One day, I plan on passing that sign and never looking back,” Simon frowned.

Jeremy stared out the window into the darkness. “Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere that isn’t here.”

“Honestly.”

“Where do you want to go?”

For a moment, he waited, thinking out his answer. “New York. City. I think.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Broadway?”

“No, uh, probably not. I don’t really think I could pull it off.”

“Well, uh, what do you want to do?”

“I kind of want to be behind the scenes. You know, filmmaking or directing. Something like that.” As he spoke, Jeremy looked back to Simon, who was smiling. It was so perfect, and Jeremy could feel his heartbeat. He was falling for Simon Saunders so damn hard. He just wanted to listen to him talk forever. “What about you?”

“I don’t really know. Maybe this singing thing will work out, and I’ll be some big time actor.” Jeremy couldn’t tell if that was joking or not. He wouldn’t be surprised if he was serious, since Simon could pull it off.

Simon could pull anything off, though.

“You should. You’d be excellent.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crappy filler chapter is crappy. Sorry guys.


	7. In Which Simon Has a Hard Time Playing Hanschen

Ever since they started going to the diner, and Simon had started admitting stuff to Jeremy, he kept him at an arm's length: close enough that he could calm him down when he was about to go off, but far enough away that people didn’t think anything of them. Simon wanted Jeremy in his life, but he knew how rumors started, and he couldn’t let that happen. His dad could not find out about his son’s theatre friend.

After rehearsals, though, Simon started taking Jeremy to Greta’s with at least three times a week for the past three weeks. It was far away, and they could talk, for real.

It was the only time they actually talked, in all honesty. Simon couldn’t do it during school.

But Simon felt like he could be completely open without his feelings getting in the way. He thought he could confess everything to Jeremy without a problem.

That all ended when they started running their scene for real.

Simon was good at acting, but more and more, it was becoming too hard in real life. And then it actually happened.

That day was a boys only call, so they’d been running group numbers. They were starting to wind down after a particularly good run of Mirror Blue Night. And then Mr. Mazzu hopped up on the stage, holding his stupid clipboard in hand. “Alright, Word of Your Body Reprise is our last thing tonight. You guys ready to go?”

Simon looked at Jeremy. “I mean, I am,” The blonde said after a moment.

“Yeah,” Simon agreed. But really, he didn’t know if he’d ever be, not after the first time. The words  _ And then you’ll kiss _ ran through his mind, sent nervous shivers down his spine. He didn’t know if he could do it for real.

Mr. Mazzu stood next the piano, hands folded. “And this time, if you don’t mind, I’d like to run the scene with full blocking.” So they definitely had to kiss. Fuck.

Jeremy quickly got into his spot center stage, sitting cross legged. Simon didn’t think he was breathing. The spot on Jeremy’s hair made him look like an angel.

From his spot in the wings, Michael gave him a big thumbs up. “You can do it,” He mouthed. Simon gave him a small nod, and smiled lightly. They had never really been friends, but Michael was nice. His encouragement gave him some motivation. Simon could do this. He’d kissed people before, and this was no different, right?

Simon took his place stage right, and crossed to center towards him. Jeremy pretended to be completely unaware.

“Those bells,” Simon practically moaned. His voice had taken on the richness that it always had when he was in character. “So peaceful.”

“I know,” Jeremy didn’t look back at him. It made Simon’s job easier, when he didn’t have to look in his eyes. “Sometimes, when it’s quiet, in the evening like this, I imagine myself as a country pastor, with my red cheeked wife, my library, my degrees. The boys and girls who live nearby give me their hands when I go walking.”

“Wow, Ernst, you’re such a sentimentalist.” Simon was starting to feel the comfort of Hanschen, of his asshole personality. “The pious, serene faces you see on the clergy, it’s all an act to hide their envy.” Finally, Jeremy turned, a confused look covering his features. He was so close. And his eyes were so pretty.

And then he got closer, thanks to the blocking. Simon was practically in Jeremy’s lap, as he continued the line. “Trust me, there’s only three was a man can go. He can let the status quo defeat him, like Moritz. He can rock the boat and be expelled, like Melchior. Or, he can bide his time, and let the system work for him, like me.” Simon reached forward, tilted Jeremy’s chin towards him. Jeremy’s face flushed red. Simon’s probably did too. “Think of the future as a pail of whole milk. One man sweats and stirs, churning it into into butter, like Otto. Another spills his milk and cries all night, like Georg.” Jeremy grinned, laughed a little. It came out as more nervous than anything, and Simon’s ever-present smirk dipped. He couldn’t do it anymore.

“You okay?” Simon broke character suddenly, but he didn’t move.

“W-what?” Jeremy stuttered. He did that a lot around Simon.

“Simon, what are you doing?” Mr. Mazzu called to him. “Just… Never mind, guys, it’s late. We’ll call it a night and come back to it tomorrow at the all call, alright?”

For a moment, Simon just sat there. Jeremy was so close that he could feel the heat off of his body. And then the brunette snapped. In one fluid motion he moved backwards and got to his feet.

With a bit of hesitation, he asked, “You want to study tonight?” It was dangerous, asking this, when he’d been so close to breaking all week.

“I’ve got nothing else planned.”

“Perfect.”

Simon grinned. “Well, let’s go then, Travers.”

“Meet you at the car, Saunders.”

And then Simon was gone, down the aisle towards the exit. He pulled out his phone, to see a new text from Lilette.

**From: Lilette**

**How’s the showmance going?**

He rolled his eyes and quickly typed a reply.

**To: Lilette**

**How’s QB1 doing?**

**From: Lilette**

**Fuck off.**

As much as Simon hated Robbie, he saw the chemistry between him and Lilette when they were running scenes, and he wouldn’t let her hear the end of it. In return, though, she wouldn’t shut up about Simon’s not-so-small crush on Jeremy.

Simon got his car, and shoved the keys into the ignition. An old Fallout Boy album blared through the speakers from dinner with Jeremy the other night, after they bonded over their 2000s emo phases. He quickly switched it off, leaving him in total silence. It didn’t take too long for Jeremy to come out. All was quiet as he loaded his stuff in, and they started driving.

Simon could not stop thinking about their scene. Finally, he broke the silence. “Do I make you uncomfortable?”

“What?”

He gulped. “It’s just… You seemed kind of uncomfortable today during our scene.”

Jeremy didn’t answer. Instead, he repeated, “Do I make you uncomfortable?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“No, of course not.”

“Then why do you ignore me at school?”

Simon went quiet. He didn’t say a word, for a while. And then, finally, he spoke. His voice was rarely above a whisper, and it sounded rough with tears. He had to say it though. Jeremy had to know. “My dad… My dad’s not a nice guy. And he’s already disappointed enough in me. If he heard rumors about his son and his scene partner… Everything would blow up.”

Jeremy was silent, like he was expecting him to continue. He didn’t.

“I’m really sorry, Simon.”

“Don’t be.” Simon suddenly felt angry. Angry at his mom for dying, at his dad for being like that, at Jeremy for being so goddamn perfect. “I’ve grown up with everyone feeling sorry for me. I’m in this fucking play because Mazzu felt bad for me due to my  _ situation _ .” It sounded like Simon was spitting out poison at that point. “That’s what he called it. “Your situation”. I wish they’d all just call it what it was. Call me what I am.”

“Simon-“

“You know that I found her, don’t you?” Simon could feel the tears in his eyes, and he tried desperately to blink them back.

“I found her that morning. I went to get a glass of water. A-and she wasn’t moving. And there was blood everywhere.” When he closed his eyes, he could still see it. Still see her twisted body.

“I didn’t… I didn’t know..”

“I just wish that, for once, they’d just tell me I’m the basket case who found a dead body at age 12.”

“You’re so much more than that, Simon.”

“Yeah, well, I think you’re the only one who really thinks that, Jere.”

“I don’t think so, Si. What about Lilette?”

Simon shook his head. “You think so? She told me once that fighting wasn’t going to fix everything. That it was too late, and I just needed to calm the fuck down. I love her, I do, but whether she means to or not, she walks on eggshells with me and… I can’t take it anymore. I just want people to be honest with me.”

“Honest? About what?”

“Everything,” Simon slammed his hand against the steering wheel, and immediately regretted it when Jeremy jumped. “No one ever tells me about the shit in their lives because they’re so scared I’m too fucked as it is. But I’d rather hear about hell than pretend nothing ever goes wrong because I know first hand how fucked life is.”

“My dad cheated on my mom for three years,” Jeremy blurted.

“Wait, what?”

“You wanted hell? Yeah, well, that’s what this divorce is about. They got married right after college and then my dad realized that she wasn’t perfect anymore. I walked on him with his secretary one day.”

“Like… walked in?”

“Nothing that bad. They were just kissing. But it was awful. I’ve never wanted to kill someone more.”

“Shit, Jere.”

“So there. That’s me being honest. I hope you enjoyed it.”

“No… I didn't, but I appreciate yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to include at least one vineyard scene run, right? Right. Also I acknowledge that I misspell Hanschen, and that I don't care enough to spell it right. Also I wrote this two weeks ago so....


	8. In which Jeremy Gets a New English Partner

It was almost the end of lunch the next day, Jeremy, Jo, Gwen, and Michael sat in their usual corner of the music room. At some point after the bell had rung, Jo started a dramatic, belting performance of Phineas and Ferb songs, and Michael had joined in. It was a flat out mess, and Jeremy loved being an innocent bystander.

“Mom, Phineas and Ferb are creating a title sequence!” Jo yelled as they finished the song.

In a moment, Jeremy and Gwen hopped to their feet and gave them a mock standing ovation. It was a typical lunchtime.

And then…

“Now, Jeremy Travers,” Jo said, a fake authoritative voice. “Tell us, how is Simon Saunders?”

“What?” Jeremy could feel his cheeks burn with a blush.

“Well, I mean, we’ve all seen you two together. You guys are electric.”

“And I heard all about last night in study hall,” Gwen cut in. “Francis would not shut up about the whole, ‘are you okay?’ thing.”

Michael grinned. “They’ve got out to dinner almost every night this week…” He added.

“No. Fucking. Way.” Jolene leaned forward, until she was only about a foot and a half from Jeremy’s face. “Are you guys dating?”

Jeremy went positively red with her comment. “N-no, I don’t… He’s not… We’re just…”

“Jeremy Travers has a crush on the bad boy,” Gwen joked. “How cliche of you.”

“Well, you dated his best friend, so.” It really wasn’t his best defense mechanism, but Gwen did go silent. Lilette and she did not end well, and if you wanted her to shut her face, you just had to say the words.

“Okay, that’s not valid,” Michael pointed out. “Lilette’s a good kid. Simon’s been suspended for fighting on school property three times. He’s kind of a mess, Jere.”

Simon’s words from last night flashed through Jeremy’s mind. “Don’t talk about him that way, okay? He’s a great guy. He’s gone through shit, but who here hasn’t?” Jeremy was gearing up for a big speech when the bell rang in the distance, stopping him short. “Whatever. I’ll see you guys later.”

He wasn’t mad at them, really, but he wasn’t happy either. Even if nothing would ever happen with Simon, they were friends. And friends got mad when people complained about them.

Despite Jo’s attempts to talk to him as the walked up to the language wing, Jeremy ignored her. He only acknowledged her with a small wave as she disappeared into the Spanish classroom. She didn’t push it past that though, because she knew Jeremy would get over it by the end of class. That’s how things usually worked. Something okay would happen next class, and it would fix everything.

That day, there wasn’t something okay, though. There was something incredible.

As Jeremy entered Mr. Mazzu’s classroom, he was greeted by a quick glance from Simon, who was whispering furiously to Lilette. Jeremy couldn’t make out a single thing that they were saying, so he didn’t even try. He just folded himself into his desk and opened his book to the latest chapter.

Parts of it were covered in green annotations in Simon’s loopy handwriting, and Jeremy thought of last night. Simon wanted honesty. But Jeremy was so scared that honesty would be what destroyed them.

Still, without saying anything, he could stare, a bit, right? And think about Simon in those home-distressed ripped skinny jeans and his tight black tee? Was that forbidden? It shouldn’t have been.

The late bell rang, in the distance, and Mr. Mazzu leaned through the door. “Sorry, uh, there’s an issue with some of the costumes for the show,” He explained quickly. Jeremy rolled his eyes. “So, uh, get with a partner if you want and, uh, write up a quick ten question quiz, okay? Make my life easier.” And then, he was gone

At that point, Jeremy figured he was pretty much alone. The only people he knew in the class were Simon and Lilette, and they’d been partners in every class since the second grade. He pulled out his notebook, and started writing out a title in his messy handwriting, when someone knocked on his desk. He looked up, and straight into Simon Saunders’ dark brown eyes.

Fucking Simon Saunders.

“Partner?”

“Huh?”

“Can we be partners? I mean, we do half of the work together already.”

“Simon, what are you doing?”

“Fine,” his voice dropped to a whisper, “you told me we didn’t talk at school. And I want to change that.”

Blush covered Jeremy’s face. “Are you sure you want to-?”

“Positive.”

Jeremy slowly nodded, and gestured towards the desk in front of him. In one fluid motion, Simon threaded his leg through the hole in the metal piping on the closed end of the desk so that he was facing Jeremy and straddling the chair.

“So, I’m thinking we talk about the whole ear-piercing thing, since it’s a smaller detail,” Jeremy suggested.

“Does it have that much significance, though?”

“I mean, he probably just wants to see if we read.”

Simon bit his lip, slightly. “But what about tone or something? I mean, you always say to dig into the deeper things.”

“I guess. I don’t know.”

Simon raised his eyebrows. “Or we could say ‘screw it’ and do all of this tonight after rehearsal.”

“Dinner?”

“Yeah, dinner.”

Jeremy grinned. He was making dinner plans with Simon Saunders again. Simon Fucking Saunders. And then, he took it a step further.

“Do you want to run lines too?” Jeremy suggested. “Because apparently Francis was going off about the whole incident in first period.”

“Incident?”

“‘Are you okay?’” Jeremy did finger quotes around the words.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Did he… What did he say, exactly?”

“Just that it happened, I think.”

“Oh, thank god.”

Jeremy frowned. “Was he not supposed to say anything or…”

“I mean, I don’t know. Maybe? I just don’t want people to, you know.”

Jeremy would be lying if it didn’t hurt him a little to hear that. “I get it,” He lied. “You don’t want your dad to hear about us.”

“Yeah,” But Simon didn’t sound so convinced. “That’s just it. If he thinks something is going on here, then I’m fucked, you know?”

He did. “Don’t worry, it’ll be okay. Your dad isn’t going to hear anything, okay?”

“You think?”

“I  _ know _ , Si. Nothing will happen. Trust me.” Simon was really cute when he was concerned, which made things hard for Jeremy. He really wanted to kiss him. But he didn’t. He couldn’t.

Simon nodded, and studied his book. “Maybe we should work on this for a bit. Get it done, you know?”

“Yeah, uh, totally. Sure.” Deep down, Jeremy knew neither of them would be able to concentrate. And he thought Simon did too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm so so sorry this took so long, but I've had a hard time focusing on this fic lately. I'm working on my own book, and a season two fic (I'm not even halfway through the first episode and we're at 4000 words so that's a tad time consuming). But I really really need some help through writer's block with all of them, so please comment some Siremy, Masha, and Rilette songs! I'm creating playlists for each so when I write I can really set the mood and I'd seriously appreciate any and all help. Thank you guys!


	9. In Which Simon Gets in a Fight

Sitting with Jeremy didn’t seem to have any repercussions until that Friday, which was an all girls’ call. Simon was going to Jeremy’s for the first time, since Jeremy found out he had never seen the Star Wars. They were going to have a movie marathon, and since he was the only one with a car, he was the designated driver.

“Okay, so, you’ve seen Indiana Jones, right?” Jeremy asked excitedly as they exited the school.

“Yeah.” Simon’s dad loved it because of the religious themes. Religion, though, was the reason Simon hadn’t seen any of Star Wars. It was stupid, really.

“Well, Harrison Ford is way cooler in these. He’s like one of the best characters in the movie. Well, next to Leia, of course,” He was rambling, and Simon thought it was adorable. “We’re gonna watch them in order, okay? Release order, I mean. I’m not forcing you into the prequels before you’ve seen everything. You’d probably completely give up on me as a person.”

“Jeremy, I wouldn’t give up on you as a person.”

“You haven’t seen these prequels, trust me.”

“Oh, come on. They can’t be that bad.”

“No, they’re that bad.” As the reached Simon’s car, they stayed on the same side. Simon fussed with his keys, and Jeremy just leaned against the door. The leisure in gesture was so hot, it drove Simon slightly crazy. That was what was really making unlocking the car difficult.

Then things got worse.

“Hey, Saunders!” Simon looked up to see Jamal, one of the senior football players, glowering at him from about ten feet away, in the empty center expanse of the student lot. Beside him stood Robbie, QB1, and Kayden, starting linebacker.

“What do you want?” His words were laced with anger. Simon struggled to repress everything that was starting to bubble up inside of him. Jamal tended to do that, set him off, but he didn’t want Jeremy to see it happen.

“How’s your boyfriend?” He taunted.

“What are you even talking about?”

“I heard you guys talking in English the other day,” Kayden cut in. “About how Simon’s dad couldn’t find out.”

Simon’s stomach dropped to his feet. Of course that’s what he thought it was.

“That’s not what that was about,” Jeremy argued. It was only making things worse.

“Sure,” Jamal said sarcastically, and took a step towards the two of them. “You guys were just worried his dad would find out about, what, SAT prep?”

“Fuck off,” Simon snarled. He dropped his backpack on the ground and closed the distance between the two of them more. He didn’t want to do this. But he was fired up. He wanted a fight. And his anger was clouding his judgement.

“Make me.”

Blood pounding in his ears, anger coursing through his veins, Simon swung at him. There was slight, glancing contact, but it wasn’t enough to hurt him. And then Jamal punched Simon in the stomach. Hard.

Simon stumbled back, gasping for air. His vision was all red and black. The world was spinning. But he was mad, and one hit wouldn’t stop him.

He lunged forward, arms swinging. His fist hit something hard, Jamal’s jaw, this time, because Jamal wasn’t expecting it. It left him wide open, giving Simon another chance to lay a hit. Except something stopped him.

Two arms wrapped around his waist, and ripped him back. Simon couldn’t tell who it was, and he just started thrashing his arms around, trying to get them off. It wasn’t working.

“Let me go.” He sounded like how a stray dog probably would, like he was foaming at the mouth.

“Calm down,” Jeremy hissed in his ear. His voice was wavering, almost close to sobs.

Simon sobered up pretty quickly, but he wasn’t done being angry. “Jeremy, let me go. I can take them! These sons of bitches deserve it-”

“Stop, Simon.  _ Now _ .”

Simon stopped pushing against his arms even though he could still hear his heart beat in his ears. This was Jeremy. He was pissed as hell, but it was Jeremy. Jeremy with his angel hair and his blue eyes and his soft hands and his secrets and… Simon’s breathing slowed, slightly.

“Whatever,” He growled. “Just… I left something in the green room. My bio textbook.” That was a flat out lie, but he needed an excuse to get inside and blow off some steam.

Slowly, Jeremy released him. “You want me to come?”

“Yes.” That wasn’t a lie. They needed to talk, face to face. Simon grabbed his bag from where he dropped it and shouldered it. “Come on.”

Jeremy gave him a quick, concerned look, before nodding and gripping the straps to his own bag. “Lead the way.”

Simon’s hands were curled into fists, to the point where his knuckles were turning white. He fast walked to the door, which led into the green room, and tore them open.

Jeremy followed, looking uncomfortable.

“Simon, are you okay?”

“What the fuck was that?” He just growled in response. He chucked his book bag down on the counter, and crossed his arms, without turning around. He was fuming again.

“What do you mean?”

“I had that fight, Jere,” Suddenly, Simon spun around to face Jeremy. It was clear that Jeremy didn’t expect that, because they ended up uncomfortably close. Simon stepped back, but he could only move a bit before his back hit the counter’s edge.

“No, you didn’t. Don’t be an idiot, Saunders.” Jeremy was examining him so closely, and Simon could feel his skin crawling. They were so close.

“Me? The idiot? You held me back for no fucking reason, Travers. I was perfectly fine on my own, okay? I didn’t need you to stop me!”

Jeremy leaned in a bit more, and pressed his hand against the counter. “They would’ve killed you.”

“And what? You’re supposed to be my fucking superhero?” Jeremy’s face fell slightly, but Simon couldn’t stop. Anger started coursing through him again. “Well, shit, Travers. You actually expect me to thank you for that, don’t you? I didn’t need your saving.”

“Simon, I didn’t mean-”

“God, just shut up. I know you did. You’d do anything to get me to like you, right? I’ve seen how you look at me. Your fucking crush isn’t as secret as you fucking think.”

“Says you!”

“Says me? Oh, says me. What, do you think I want you or something? News flash, I’m not gay, Travers.”

“Could’ve fooled me, Saunders.” He let go of the counter, and stepped back. “You know what? You’re an asshole. I can’t believe I thought you and I could be friends.” He turned and started to walk away, and Simon suddenly felt desperate.

“Good, I thought you were going to kiss me for a minute there.” Jeremy froze.

“What?”

“I didn’t want you getting the wrong idea, since we have to kiss onstage. I know how you tend to take things like that.”

Jeremy turned back to him, seething. “That’s rich, coming from the guy who couldn’t stand someone flirting with me. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were the one who wanted to kiss me.”

“Kiss you?” Jeremy stepped towards him again, and Simon stepped up to accept the challenge. Their chests were only inches apart. “Never.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

“You want honesty? How about you be honest with yourself.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Simon gulped. They were close, and Jeremy felt warm, and his lips looked so nice up close.

And then Jeremy leaned down, just slightly, and kissed Simon. It wasn’t soft, or in anyway sweet. It was back by anger and desire and suppressed emotion. It was teeth and spit and tongue and passion. It was a challenge.

Jeremy shoved Simon back against the counter, with one hand pressed against the other boy’s waist. The other pressed against the counter behind him, once again, pinning him to it. Simon’s arms wrapped around the taller boy’s neck, pulling him down towards him. It was a breathless mess of a thing.

Finally, Jeremy pulled back, breaking for air.

“Shit, Travers,” Simon mumbled. “Shit.”

“Fuck, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“My dad will kill us.”

“Simon, shit. I am so sorry.”

“Fuck. My dad’s gonna kill me. Fuck.”

Jeremy didn’t move back, but his hand moved from the countertop, and he leaned back a bit. “I shouldn’t have-”

“No, uh, you were right. You were so right. I wanted this.”

“What?”

“I wanted you to fucking kiss me, Jeremy Travers.”

“You did?”

“Still do.”

And then Jeremy kissed him again. And Simon forgot about his dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH THIS TOOK FOREVER I’M SO SORRY. It’s because currently I’m working on a novel and writing a multi chapter fic of Rise Season Two, so keep an eye out for that because I’ve been working super hard on that! Thank you guys so much. Love you!


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